I've been scribbling and scribbling, most of it useless, all of it useless, and I am tired, which means that all I want to do is write run on sentences. I will throw out an excerpt from my scribbles:

Dad says I'm likeable. But is that really enough? I'm learning to be an asshole. People like that. I like that. Mom says be careful. She knows me better than you do. While you only suspect I'm pitiful, she knows for sure. She listens to me try to form sentences for an hour. Do you know what love is? That is love.

I've been listening mostly to Redbird and it's counterparts because it is all beautiful and because it sounds just like what love should sound like. You know when you are listening to a song and you can hear a person smiling while they sing? I love that. I am keeping my head up, because there is nowhere else for it to go.

I'm too tired to have appropriate tact, I am going to go scribble some more.