Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tomorrow is my birthday but I might pretend it is not, so I can pretend it IS later. It is terrible to say, but this place, this home, keeps me rattled and insecure, and I am ready to go back to Nairobi. And I certainly don't want to be here for my birthday. And I know, by now I should know birthdays are dang near useless but I really believe in them, OK? Not just like it is a day that is yours, but just think about it. I think about my mom a lot on my Birthday. It's the day with which you were given life, it is a good day to think about who you are, in a positive way. Self-reflection is an all time thing, but maybe self love is a little harder. Birthdays are they days in which you allow yourself to think about the good affects you've had on people's lives, allow yourself to dream that you are important, and maybe allow it to be true. Birthdays are important for people like us who think that in order to remain humble you have to be a little self-loathing. So tomorrow, even though I am half pretending it is not my birthday, I am going to love myself, because, to be honest, I am in a place where I need all the love I can get.

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