i'm too sleepy to write properly, but as I was walking home all I could think was: it's a new year and my body/heart is being lurched through the change, the change that it has been trying to process process process all summer, but now that fall is settling in, and I can say again "a year ago around this time" etc etc, my body and heart are starting to grasp the reality.
it hurts, my darlings, but it will be O.K., I think. The older you get the more memories you have to haunt you. Sometimes this is good, sometimes it is not.
Sweet dreams, sweet days, good things.