Sunday, December 12, 2010

Talking and articulating my heart numerous times a day even if it is exhausting because we are all in strange transitional periods and I think the best way for us to handle them is to talk about them and the best way to love each other is to talk about it. Not too much, but enough that we have a good understanding of each other. These new friends are becoming so important so quickly and for once I feel like I fostered relationships on my own, not through friend mooching. I am learning to trust that even though we have not known each other for that long we will stay connected and that if we don't it will still be fine. I have a lot of trouble accepting this, the fact that people do get lost in the shuffle. I am so worried about replacing people, even though they are not so worried.

I am truly exhausted, in a new way. I just keep saying everything out loud even though it doesn't quite make sense because that is the only way for me to make sense of it. I spend too much time thinking about how I am feeling and the last few days I feel like I am drowning in my own feelings and I feel a little bit crazy. I am so tired of articulating but also feel like it is too important and like I am running out of time to explain it to everyone. I will write letters and I will be so happy to see everyone who is still here when I get back.

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