Already reconsidering my resilience, it's so unlike me, and hours of studying is proving to help me get in tune with myself. I need to surround myself with people who care whether or not my jokes are funny. I need to be around people who like to talk about things, sometimes, I can not be friends at a distance, I don't know how, I want to know everything about everyone and i want them to want to know something about me. I am starting to feel objectified and my post-feminist self wants to be ok with this but my person self is not, because I am mostly only interested in people and all the things that have to do with their thoughts and feelings. I keep being challenged, and I don't mind, I am learning...something. Today it is hot hot in our sun room and I keep thinking about cutting off my hair, and I might just do it, but I wonder if I am doing it to prove something. I am having a gentle shift back into reality, and it is nice, and what I need, but I don't really know who to tell about it. Maybe no one but myself, in fact.