I do not swallow my own mistakes well, and mostly I try to reverse them or to turn them into good things and I do not think that this is a sign of denial, but more a constant stream of realizations. I often make the same mistakes twice, but only because sometimes maybe these mistakes are necessary and because everyone situation varies. I am trying to make sense of a bundle of things that don't make sense, I am trying to say 'I'm sorry, sometimes I make things harder than I should and I will stop now, and make them easier."

I am tired of my one-sided readings for women's health, even though they are interesting, they are sickly biased and strange. As though abortion policies are some direct attack on women of color and not just an attack on women of poverty. Yes, there is a high percentage of women of color when talking about women of color, but that is some deeper issue and to impose racism on an issue where it does not exist gets us no where, but further divided. I am tired of this, and it is the same in every article, as though women are the only victims, as though people of color are the only victims, as though any one group can be affected by things. It is hard to read these articles and respect them. It is hard to read this, and I realize that these are why I have such difficulty with feminism.

I have too many things to think about, and not enough time to think about them.